True love waits

how could you have been so real yet so cruel.

i miss you so very much, the you i have thought to be.

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About writing

many people aspires to be writers. I have never gotten down to asking why and what inspired them to. Like them, i realise i like writing too. I love words and i love the emotions and the sentiments that comes alive with words that are often described to be boring, or lifeless. But they are so alive to me, like theres a spirit within them.

I often feel this hunger in me, the very strange thing about this is that it feels like a physical hunger, one that food can fulfil, but in fact it is a mental starvation. I think it’s bizarre for me to say this, but i think my mind and my stomach is linked in a very strange way. Maybe this is one kind of emotional eating. Its just that I’m not sad, i’m looking for a mental stimulation.

many times, emotions surge through me at unexpected timings leaving me quite shocked always. These emotions comes from the realisation of things, most of time it is about having great people in my life that i can only wish for and there they are making a difference. I met alot of ridiculous things, some broke me some wounded me. But also i met alot of amazing encounters, in my opinion these encounters makes up for those bad ones. I’m so grateful for these people in my life! being so ordinarily extraordinary!

I find it difficult to convey my appreciation to them, but i wish writing can be a tool to me, for me to show them words are not cheap!

Day in Day out

I find myself looking for something meaningful to do.

In the process, the very first thing that comes to my mind is – what’s meaningful?

What’s meaningful, to me? Hmm something that could help other people? Something that contributes to society? or learning a skill? Bla bla..

Sometimes it just hits me that, it may not be that i’m just trying to do good. There’s a void, there’s a void to fill. Many people now are trying to go out of our comfort zone, experience something different. I ask myself, is this human’s way / attempt to evolve? Or are we desperate to escape a certain kind of reality?

I would always like to think human nature is kind, but maybe human nature is not. It is education and experiences that teaches us to be kind. So I must not give up learning. Instead of getting disappointed at myself not meeting a certain social standard or for being cold. I must learn that human nature is such, but in life, and in life’s lessons, these are my curriculum.

Some kind of breakthrough..