One day

I will find that man whom i want to father my kids

whom will sing to the kids till they fall alseep

and be the man who can carry us upon his shoulders…


floating thoughts

in my head.

reminding me of the hurt and things i have been did wrong upon.

did he do it because he was already sick? did he do it because i didnt give him the attention he needed? well, nothing is valid reason for the things he did, but it is worth a second chance aint it?

i’m so tired of thinking, and i’m so tired of worrying. for now i know i can’t just walk away.

i want to become a better person for myself too and not anybody else.

Been a while

since i last blogged.

Maybe its a little too late to recap my 2014, it took the term “roller-coaster emotions” to a whole new level.

Going through snippets of the happenings, i cannot bring myself to come to terms with the betrayal i suffered, the sympathy i felt, and the love i have for the person i promised to live together and ever after. part of me float through reality to illusion, from illusion back to reality. everything seem so vivd, so intimate, i cannot seem to differentiate anymore. bring me back and teach me to co-exist – in 2015.